“To change your life, you have to change the way you think. Behind everything you do, is a thought. Every behavior is motivated by a belief. Every action is promoted by an attitude. Be careful of how you think. Your life is directed by your thoughts!”

- John Wright

John Wright Speaking Video

Stop Picking Winners and Losers

Today, I move into the public victory section of Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (Simon & Schuster).

Habit #4: Think Win-Win.

I admit… There is a part of Win-Win that is difficult to get my arms around.

Most of us in the United States, and probably around the world, have not been trained or educated in Win-Win. The experience most of us have in life is one of competition, Win-Lose. I was trained to want to win, which meant that I wanted you to lose. Yet, when I look at my best relationships with the most important people in my life — family, co-workers, teammates, etc. — they are truly Win-Win.

Let’s quote the book:

“Thinking win-win is a frame of mind and heart that seeks mutual benefit and is based on mutual respect in all interactions. It’s about thinking in terms of abundance – an ever-expanding ‘pie,’ a cornucopia of opportunity, wealth, and resources – rather than of scarcity and adversarial competition. It’s not thinking selfishly (win-lose) or like a martyr (lose-win). In our work and family life, members think interdependently – in terms of ‘we’ not ‘me.’ Thinking win-win encourages conflict resolution and helps individuals seek mutually beneficial solutions. It’s sharing information, power, recognition, and rewards.”

I have been blessed to be a Rotarian for most of my professional life. Rotary is a worldwide organization with a first class reputation. The Four Way Test of Rotary, is a perfect example of the Win-Win philosophy.

1. Is it the truth?
2. Is it fair to all concerned?
4. WILL it be BENEFICIAL to all concerned?

So here’s a suggestion. Pick only winners by adopting a Win-Win attitude in your dealings with others.